闲游

夜深了。能做些什么？很想写文章，但要写些什么？

就前两天，我又再开启了自己的引擎，背着个背包自个儿游荡去。哥打巴鲁市镇。

本着去博物院的心，却到了著名的睡佛堂。因为我不晓得博物院在星期五关闭。又不想回家，结果就问路人到底要怎样去那佛堂。走15分钟的路到巴士站，恰巧那巴士正好启动，不必等！车程大约40分钟，是那司机转头告诉我我到了。但在那3岔路口，我看不到佛堂的踪影。怎么办？到了一个人生地不熟的地方，不晓得去向。

最重要的资讯来源--路人！结果给我问出来了，那佛堂是在那3岔路距离5公里的地方！没有公共交通，也只好走了。心想：我有没有毅力走到目的地？幸运的是我经过一个水果档，那老伯见我这么一个陌生的面孔，一个人往那偏僻的甘榜路走去，就问了我的去向，然后过去隔壁问有没有人愿意送我一程！当我以为真的得了贵人相助时，他回过头说不好意思。失望，但我还是继续前进。

3分钟过去了，突然一辆摩托车停在我隔壁说是那老伯帮我叫来的！我还真好运。用了3令吉剩下了至少30分钟的路程！路途还真遥远。没有头盔，风摇摆着我那一头短发。好久没骑电单车了……

宏伟的佛像、宁静的四周让我平静了下来。久违了的安静。和祥的喜悦。

但出来时就没那么幸运。我并不觉得有什么大不了。只是在赤热的太阳下用了40分钟走了5公里的路。我还蛮佩服自己。哈哈。沿途的风景还蛮不错，此前真的没有留意到这一些的简单美。

我是被忙碌给蒙蔽了吗？幸亏我还懂得寻找这一些简单的快乐！

我是幸福的

没有了海滩的陪伴，多了城镇的游荡。宽广的太平洋不复见。汹涌的大浪不复在。见到的不再是金发白皮肤。走在路上，不再觉得自己个子过于矮小。慢慢地习惯赤热的太阳；恢复汗流狭背的感觉。不再为寒冷而披上外套，鲜少为干燥而涂上润唇膏。

那时我归心似箭可媲比我现今对过往的眷恋，矛盾。

时间一直过，我一直向前程迈进。闯无数关、斩无数将。悄悄的，一年半奔驰而去！苦？有。乐？也有。但是对我而言，乐多于苦。庆幸那时把心一横做了这一个决定。虽然我还没真正毕业，但至少到现在为止，我是在享受。我坚信，虽然度过了一些煎熬，我还是幸福的。

another place, another phase, another face.

I have set my foot here in Kota Bharu since 3 weeks ago. Hectic, indeed.

It's always hard to adapt to new place, new faces and new environment. Especially new rules. However, I'm coping well here. Afterall I'm just here for several months. I can foresee going through the same adaptation again in the very near future.

I have tried one of the famous Nasi Dagang here. Really nice. would really like to have it again!

woo. i shall plan an itinerary before I have got to leave this place.

Plot of my journey - reminiscence

Australia? no more, sadly. But i had gone through a lot for the one year i live there. Just a piece of typing to sum it all up.

15th September 09：

Reached a foreign country for the first time in my life. 23 degrees was cold for me.

23rd September 09:

My first ever flight which I had a chance to manipulate the controls. I puked terribly.

10th October 09:

My first time in Movie World. We went for Superman ride. It was awesome! It was Dan's birthday, we as the company had to report position every now and then to facilitate the party at home. A happy day.

7th November 09:

My 21st birthday. They baked me a cake and bought me a key card. I had a decent family dinner with Azlan, Andy and Bashir too.

14th November 09:

We went to Wet n' Wild today. Our wettest day ever. It was still a little chilly that day. The highlight of the day: DK, Adam and Andy were busy courting some gals, we missed the bus in the end!! We tasted the best KFC ever that night and ride on the most expensive cab ever! Really a very memorable day.

30th November 09:

My first solo! One of my happiest moment there.

24th December 09:

I shaved my head for the first time in my life. Thanks to Andy Pok. haha

26-28tth December 09:

Stanthorpe trip with a bunch of guys! Stayed in a big mansion. Quite creepy but we all had great fun! Indeed a very memorable one.

31st December 09:

"I went to the beach in Cooly with Bashir and Andy to see the fireworks". epic.

2nd January 10:

My first trip to Brisbane after few months. 3 of us didn't bring along passports hence can't check in to backpackers' hostels. We all ended up in Banana Benders. haha.

28th January 10:

I passed my GFPT on this date. The first milestone in my flying career.

14th february 10:

It was Chinese New Year. My first year celebrating it out of the house. We had some yu shang and a simple dinner together. I did some skype call with my family and Emma danced to my whole family. haha.

22nd February 10:

We moved out of Samuel's Place and shifted in 313, Pacific Place.

4th March 10:

With Bashir and Andy, we took the train to Brisbane. We loitered around the City and stayed until the first service of the train.

14th April 10:

We went to collect Sunrice rice bought with "rainchecks" from Coles. You wouldn't believe how much we bought. haha

16th May 10:

I went to Mt Cootha with Bashir. I was mesmerized by the breath-taking view there. Resting there with a cup of coffee is what we call life.

11th June 10:

Wintersun Festival Coolangatta! A parade filled with all sorts of cars from the 50's, 60's and 70's. Clubs there are playing the oldies! People dressed up like oldies! Everything moved backward! It's the busiest Coolangatta that I have ever seen!

15th-19th June 10:

My parents and sister arrived from Malaysia. Seeing them again after 9 months is a good feeling. Managed to bring them to quite a few places but still miss out something here and there....

26th June 10:

Seen an eclipse. A moon eclipse.

13th July 10:

Experienced night flying. It was great but a little scary. haha.

30th July 10:

I saw the biggest patch of fog this day. I had to turn back for the very first solo navigation exercise.

8th August 10:

Had a close call on this date. Kinda blissful because nothing had actually happened.

18th September 10:

We went to Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary. We saw emus, kangaroos and koala. We did the black and green challenges as well. A fun day indeed!

1st October 10:

I did my CPL today! It marks the completion of my training here. I have got 10 more hours of joy flight to be done! I gave free hugs that day. haha. One of my happiest day of all! Went up to Mt Nathan Wineries with Kate and Whitney. I bought quite a lot of wines and liqueur.

2nd-15th October 10:

My free-est days herein Australia! I tried almost everything here and i spent damn a lot of money. haha. For happiness! =)

15th October10:

I stayed up all night with Adam and Bashir. Had the craziest night ever!

16th October 10:

The end of my journey in Australia and I was back in Malaysia after 8 hours of flight.

Happy Deepavali

It has just past midnight. It's the 5th today. Happy Deepavali to all my friends!

For once, I thought it was Chinese New Year. The fireworks never stop! It was so happening out there, and still is! This is the culture in Malaysia. Firecrackers and fireworks are the indicator that one major festival is coming! It used to be the practice of the Chinese, but the blend of culture has promoted it to a greater extend! haha, even when those things are actually banned in Malaysia.

Fireworks out there are loud and there were nice! I stood out there just now and I was surrounded by 3 different site of fireworks, at my doorstep minus the crowd that we usually have during any countdown events!

Talking about fireworks, the best fireworks that I have ever seen so far is undoubtedly the River Fire in Brisbane. I could never forget the lights on the river! A photo speak a thousand words, but I don't have a photo to show. HAHAHAHA. Perhaps you could google it! I believe there are a lot of photos out there.

Till then! Happy Deepavali again my friends. and hi again, Malaysia.

my tight budget spending equals to people's luxury?

OR

people's tight budget spending equals to my luxury?

Everyone's perspective is different. It depends largely on our background, our history, our tragedies, our victories, our current conditions etcetera.

Try visualizing the answer for those questions up there and see what comes out.

This world is never fair and this world lacks empathy.

" You think the only people who are people

Are the people who look and think like you

But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger

You'll learn things you never knew you never knew"

- quoted from 'colours of the wind'

Freedom

Freedom?

A leaf on a tree is free to wave and move with the wind but the it is always stuck with the tree, it can't leave the tree. A definite fate of leaving would be die or dried.

We as human beings are also being restrained by our limiting factors. it could be financial, mobility, family, health etc etc. However, our options are wider as compared to the leaves. We can choose to sacrifice one for another eg. one might sacrifice his time for financial freedom(more pay), or one might sacrifice his financial freedom for his freedom of movement(time)...

What kind of freedom and what degree of freedom are you desired for? How much are u willing to sacrifice?

今天的海没平时的静，浪涛汹涌。厚厚的云层覆盖了整片蓝色的天。灰。

我又再自个儿漫步在沙滩上。没有夕阳。眼前朦胧一片，海浪声不断。

就只有两个多月。多两个多月我即将回到大马。这里的一切情景会在我脑里逗留多久？届时我会很不舍吗？至少在这里的烦恼比回到去的少。空闲的时间相信也较回去得多。

再多一个月，我的感触应该会更多吧…… 首个出国的经验。再次回家又会有什么感觉呢？

阔别已久的阴天又再现。 乌云密布，风轻轻吹。冷。

我正无所事事，呆在凉亭吹风、看天、发呆。眼前的几位工友忙着为隔壁家做维修工作。陆陆续续传出一些吵杂声。然而我的心情丝毫都没被影响。好懒散的一天。

飞机起飞降落也不时传出恐龙吼叫般的声音。望上去，飞机慢慢地消失在云霄中。那就是所谓的冲上云霄吧！

I forgot when, i start to type without thinking of where the buttons are located.

I forgot when, I ride a bicycle without needing to think that i would fall.

I forgot when, I type sms without looking at the phone.

I forgot when, I play piano on both hands with ease.

But, they are all started with hardships and countless falls. Determination and dedication plays a great part of it. Looking forward for the next milestone in my life.

不开心？难免的。很多时候，心情不由得人选择。周遭的事情及因素，称心的、得意的自然让人心旷神怡，违意的还用多说？

然而，很多事情都在掌控之外。没有人的错，只是时间不对称。天时、地利及人和都得互相配合。

还是旧的那一句，放手。与其懊恼不称心的过去，不如积极面对将发生的未来！

外面天空紫红色一片，美。

bicycle, the way for groceries shopping.

Choice of transport to go for groceries:

1. Bus
2. Bicycle
3. Walk

Choice number 2 will always be my first option. Feel that it is kind of heavy carrying stuffs in the back pack? feel that it is tiring to travel 6 km on a bicycle to go to the shopping mall? feel embarrassed to use bicycle as transport to go for groceries and carrying those groceries back home on a bike?

Probably a bit of everything but it is to be justified by the following:

• it is environmentally friendly.
• it is a good physical exercise.
• it is, sometimes, faster than waiting for the bus.
• it grants more freedom.
• it allows me to stop and enjoy the scenery en-route.
• it saves my $3.00 for the bus.
• and it is a joy to cycle along the beach just to go for the groceries!

So, why not cycle? I enjoy doing it and i will continue to do so... Join me?

Sunday, cold, clear and windy.

I am feeling very tired and a slight headache after a long family outing with all my house mates.

It was a very nice outing. I enjoyed myself at least. We went to the park in Southport. The broadwater is just magnificent that I like it every single time i go there. We sat down on the grass just to look at the ripple of the water, the seagulls and also the clouds.

Then we saw a lot of very futuristic poles with a lot of LEDs in it. They are activated by movements of people passing by. The lights dance. I got very excited seeing those things and i was running like little kid just to see the lights dance. LOL. There weren't many people around though. I then persuaded them to stay for another half an hour just to see those lights after the sunset. The result was quite encouraging. The lights are much nicer and clearly compared to the afternoon.

What a coincident that we were actually bumped into Rijal's mum and relatives who are on holiday during our dinner in Surfer's. Rijal wasn't there and we haven't met his mum before. Magically we get to know them there.

I bought a bottle of CKin2u. I really like the smell.

and, Happy birthday Bashir and Lekky! I doubt both of them would ever read this.

咖啡

常常经过咖啡厅我都会有一股喝咖啡的冲动。我是咖啡爱好者。悲的是，很多时候我都强迫自己将那一口口水吞进肚子里。闭上眼睛、塞着鼻子抵挡那咖啡强势的攻击！1杯4块钱的咖啡也还真的蛮贵的。就大概12令吉…… 沮丧，真的。靠着1个月300澳币过活还真的蛮考技巧及耐力！庆幸的是，我每天都有一些健康的食物，有肉、鱼、菜、蛋等等。只是得在购买的时候下点心思。

我向往的不多，只是希望之后的我可以很随意的买我爱的咖啡，不须在餐厅点菜的时候为价钱而三思, 有多余的钱捐助他人…… 足矣。

蒲公英

蒲公英飘浮在空中，没有定律。很可能，连他自己也不懂他的去向。靠的也只有他对风的信念。生命不再掌控之内，能做的可能就是向天祈祷……

我想，我们在生命之路犹如一颗蒲公英。靠的是风--我们身边的人与物。幸运的，会遇到伯乐，会发黄腾达。不幸的，遇到小人，遭人拐骗。种种际遇树造各种人格。所幸的，我们人类就算遇到小人还是能生存下来。而蒲公英呢？到了不该到的地方，给人类扫进了垃圾抖，永远见不到天日。

p/s: 今天的海洋特别的宁静。海浪声不复在。海里没有很大的起伏。喜欢宁静的我爱极了那一翻画面。一股幸福的感觉涌上了心头……

Balloon

When things aren't as efficient as we think it can be, perhaps it's time for re-evaluation. Evaluate our effort, evaluate our attitude and evaluate the "changeable"s.

Men are like balloons. How big the balloon becomes depends on how much air you blow into it. And to achieve the optimum size, the balloon can't be stretched too much nor should it be left loose with insufficient air.

I think I can put more air in myself.

梦

多年前，我心里存着两个梦想。一，出国留学。 二，驾驶飞机。

基于种种因素，当时，这两个梦想也只是个梦想。我一直以为那些都是我能力所及之外。

正当我以为一切将定下来之际，这么一个机会找上门来。我可以出国去学驾驶飞机！这是二合一的配套！然而，这么一个机会并不是一盏省油的灯。我需要很大的付出以及牺牲。心里挣扎了许久亦无法做出决定。

冥冥之中似乎有了安排。不管理智怎么不让我来，我究竟还是来了。做人，有时就是靠着一股冲动。 我靠着他，冲动了这里也呆了8个月。现在所期待的就是学成回去…… 多5个月！！希望是。

担心

担心, 人生中总是充满着担心这两个字. 我担心这样, 担心那样. 人之常情吧?

其实, 人能做的真的是有限的. 很多事情, 到了某种程度, 我们已经是竭尽所能, 剩余的也只能够听天由命.

往往, 担心就是从那儿源起. 停顿了的双手使到脑袋空洞产生了心中感到的不踏实. 这种忐忑, 相信大家都尝试过. 最明显的也不过于期待着考试成绩的那一刹那. 再来就是上过山车前的那种心情. 又或者是上台演讲前的感受?

担心, 真的有用吗?

因为担心表现不好所以紧张. 因为担心得不偿失所以没胆去做. 因为担心外面有扒手所以不敢逛街. 因为担心出车祸所以不敢驾车. 因为担心钱币有菌所以不敢触碰. 因为担心厕所有鬼所以憋尿. 因为担心....所以....

太多太多的担心使到我们怯步. 当然也让我们有了虚假的安全感因为在我们为某件事担心时,感觉上我们似乎做了一些东西, 心里也好过一些. 但, 这一些担心全都是多余的. 当我们在担心时, 负面的心情会变得更负面. 要记得, 我们可以善用这些用来担心的时间. 我们可以享乐, 可以修边, 可以放松从而建造快乐与高兴.

通常, 担心都是虚有的. 我们做人只要做好本分剩余的都不用管了, 也管不了. 船到桥头自然直, 我相信这句话.

不违言, 我也是"担心一族". 然而, 我学着释放那心里的不安, 放开我管不了的.

因为我知道: 担心, 是多余的.

期待

在学校呆了5小时，没用的5小时。

心情从早上期待的喜悦跌到现在的空洞。我什么都没办到。时间白白的飘过。只有收拾好心情，让下一次的期待能浮现出更好的心情。

I hate it when they say " I am me"

I hate it when people say "I am myself" or "I am who I am". True enough that every individual is different to some extent, but to use the "I am myself" that kind of statement is unjustifiable.

If you're a person who don't eat leftover food, who will throw away all the food without thinking of how lucky you are in comparison to those who starve to death, when confronted with a suggestion from a friend that you can keep those food for lunch the next day, your reply would probably be:"nah, it's so not me!". Now, what is you? What do you mean by being you? Do you think that the habit of not eating leftover food originated from you? Hell no! How can you pick up someone else's habit, a long inherited habit and say that it's yours and call it "me" or "myself"?

When someone is associated with his habits or so called "styles", he would be very reluctant to change, even though the habit could be negative. He would be proud to say that it's HIS style (of numerous habits of others that being put into he himself). He would be so convinced that only he possesses those qualities, and when he is encountered with another person who acted in somehow a similar way that he does, he would ask, with sarcasm: why do you copy my style?, as if he has the copyright of the actions that he adopted from other sources!

Let's continue with the aforesaid example: "it's so not me!" and followed by throwing away the food into the rubbish bin. This is clearly a not very desirable outcome. If you knew that the portion of food is too much for the people, then cook lesser or you could possibly keep them for the following day. Maybe you can say that you have plenty of money and you can buy the food anytime you want, that is true. However, you have failed to visualize that food supply is actually limited that only a certain amount of food can be produced at a single time. Hence, with your wastage of food, the demand for the food increases while the supply stays the same, you, yes, I mean YOU have already deprived the food for people who lived in poverty all over the world. When you waste your food, the food prices might increase to an extent that they can't afford it, because these people are living with less than $1 a day. If one has associated himself with the so-called "my style", with his reluctance to change, he has caused some other people to live in hunger(in this instance).

I would like to clarify that I am not against anyone who uphold a certain good values, which in turns build up a good character and personality. But again, they are not exclusively belong to you, they are some common values that are being upheld by some other people in the world. For that, I believe you can't define as your style either.

For what I believe is that one can freely adopt a values or styles and call himself a practitioner of the style but not calling the style that he practices as HIS style.